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Friday, July 20, 2018

lol okay ESPN by @Nick422

The ESPYs were held Wednesday. As if you didn't know. Or care. The only reason I found this out was because of an instagram post by the NHL that caused me to tilt my head like your dog when he's confused about what you're saying.

The NHL went to instagram to crow that Alexander Ovechkin had won male athlete of the year. Hey, good for him! What made it exceptionally strange was that Ovechkin was the first NHL player to ever win the award.

Now look. We know the Capitals finally ripped the monkey off of their back, cheap shotting their way past a tired and bruised Penguins team in a series that could have easily gone seven and to Pittsburgh. From there they trapped and lucked their way to their first ever Cup. That's great for them! Congrats! We remember our first beer!

But what exactly did Alex Ovechkin do here?

Evgeni Kuznetsov was THE hero for the Capitals. Ovechkin threw his body around and scored some goals. Good for him. Since then he hasn't been sober for more than ten minutes. I guess partially coattailing a championship then going on a bender makes you a great athlete?

I suppose that makes for a good story, a fun headline. Hey look at Ovechkin butt chug out of the Cup after Tom Wilson took his turn! Sanitary!

But what did Ovechkin DO?

He didn't win back-to-back Cups for the first time in nearly a generation. He didn't win most valuable player both times. He didn't win a World Cup sandwiched in between. He didn't win MVP of THAT either.

You know who did? Sidney Crosby.

Look, we all know ESPN is the shining beacon of NHL coverage. Second to none! Best of the best! They're clearly the be all to end all authority when it comes to hockey.

But winning a championship and going on a bender doesn't make you the athlete of the year. If it were, JR Smith would have won that award in 2016.

If any NHL player ACTUALLY deserved this it was Sidney Crosby last year. Instead it goes to Ovechkin because... drunk?

Anyway, to make too big of a deal about this means thinking any more about ESPN and the ESPYs and judging by the ratings no one did. But Ovechkin got another award he didn't really earn so I suppose we can extend his rumspringa for another few weeks. Go Ovie! Sorry for your liver.


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