Hockey After Dark: Night 16 ("I HATE SIDNEY CROSBY!" EDITION) by @DXtraeger - PensInitiative | Pittsburgh Penguins Blog | Rumors | News

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Friday, April 28, 2017

Hockey After Dark: Night 16 ("I HATE SIDNEY CROSBY!" EDITION) by @DXtraeger

"...Where Insomnia Hits the Ice."
(Welcome to "Hockey After Dark," a late-night recap of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  Topics will include scores, injuries, controversies, the Twitter-verse, and random jokes at the expense of the Philadelphia Flyers.  I strongly encourage clicking on the links)

Ladies and Gents, I'm not going to lie: it's late, I'm tired, and I'm still mourning the loss of a comrade...

"One for me, One for my Homies"
The above, folks, is what happens when I spontaneously celebrate a series of flurry of Fleury saves (god, I am going to miss saying that) as was the case in the 3rd period of Pittsburgh's fun 3-2 victory over the Washington Capitals.

     -My friend thought I had crushed the glass in my hand.
     -Our server was impressed enough that she comp'd the drink (don't worry, I tipped her accordingly, and shame on you if you don't do the same).

As for Capitals fans?  Well...........I'll leave you with a smattering of their complaining.  In unison.  In glorious harmony.  And in absolute pain.

This is the least work I've done for this series, but I dare say this is the one I enjoy the most.

We start with simple.  Succinct.


We gradually expand our reasons and rationale.


We explicitly ignore that Ovechkin is the GEICO Caveman.


We discover the CAPS LOCK KEY.


We are One-Upped by the person that responds to us.


We venture into hyperbole.


We empathize with those around us.


We enunciate by way of showing that we can S P E L L


We ponder the philosophical question of "WHY?"


And finally...we "hate life" and "hate everything" because we "hate Crosby"

....I guess in other news, the Ottawa Senators beat the New York Rangers when another puck went in off of Henrik Lundqvist's head from a terrible angle, but really, I'm still glowering in the angst of Capitals fans, so until tomorrow!



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