Hockey After Dark: Night 13 (Now With No Hockey!) by @DXTraeger - PensInitiative | Pittsburgh Penguins Blog | Rumors | News

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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Hockey After Dark: Night 13 (Now With No Hockey!) by @DXTraeger

"...Where Insomnia Hits the Ice."
(Welcome to "Hockey After Dark," a late-night recap of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  Topics will include scores, injuries, controversies, the Twitter-verse, and random jokes at the expense of the Philadelphia Flyers)
One of the oddities of the NHL playoffs is that the league, despite having like 27 months of a regular season to plan things, always schedules 3 weeks between playoff series...

...because it's not like competing with the NBA playoffs for viewers/attention is a problem for the NHL, which is why the NHL goes out of its way to make sure it awards the Stanley Cup only a day or so before the NBA Finals conclude instead of more or less having its own Championship month.
Cavaliers. Cubs. Trump. Could Caps be next??

(I admit, the above paragraph could use some condensing, but I could write a Tolkienesque novel on how dumb the NHL is when it comes to promoting its product, and how the NHL goes above and beyond to Trump THAT level of stupidity– see, I made a "Trump is Dumb" joke, which is FUNNY 'CAUSE IT'S TRUE, anyway– to sabotage its product when it's at its playoff best and and AND AND

Ahem.  ")"

So, yes, because the NHL is incompetent at scheduling things, the Penguins (and the other 7 remaining combatants) are knee-deep in a minor vacation.

Ironic, really, because it's just enough time to head down to Myrtle Beach and shoot a few rounds of golf but alas, teams just sit at home, not having practice, and watch the Washington Capitals narrowly avoid a historic collapse at the hands of a franchise that did the entire "Hold my beer!" thing and ratcheted up what a true playoff collapse looks like in the hands of GODS.

The only Meat Loaf Venn Diagram You Need to Know
Still, the Capitals are a worthy adversary.  I would do anything to see Ovechkin go another year without a championship....but I won't do that.  Washington has goaltending, they have scoring, they have depth, they have...well, I can't quite give their blue line a passing grade quite yet...

...for that matter, the Penguins have serious question marks entering their ninth playoff pairing with the Caps, what with Matthew Murray still injured, Carl Hagelin continuing to be MIA, no Kris Letang, and a bruised up Chris Kunitz.  That's far from 'ideal' injury conditions heading into what amounts to the NHL Stanley Cup Finals in Round 2 (again: the NHL sucks at planning).

Maybe you've seen the Tweet floating around the Twittersphere:  something something Capitals are 14-18 in playoff series not against the Penguins, 1-8 against the Penguins.  It was a great tweet.  I tried to find it to quote/cite you.  I failed.  I owe you a citation.

But yes, Penguins/Capitals.......14-8 vs 8-1.  I sense a pattern.

So, yes.  Here's to the inevitable...much like this scene at the Monroeville Mall:

Well, this was....predictable.
 Which brings us full circle: PLANNING.  Everyone sucks at PLANNING, but especially the NHL, and ESPECIALLY the person who thought, "You know what, let's stick that WeightWatchers right next to the Pittsburgh Popcorn Company.  We'll show THEM!"

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