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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

1994, A Time of Wonder by @evil_shero

Close your eyes and try and remember a simpler time. A time in which people still used Encyclopedias, used pay phones, and masturbated to magazines. This - my friends - is the magical year of 1994. Close your eyes and let beautiful Swedish dance-pop usher you into the world over two decades old.

1994 gave us the timeless gifts of The Lion King, Pulp Fiction, and Forrest Gump. In 1994 is was socially acceptable to scream "Run, Forrest, Run!" at anyone running in any situation. 1994 also took us on a thrill ride known as the OJ Simpon trial in which a former American hero killed someone and got away with it. The gifts didn't end there as Nine Inch Nails gave us the masterpiece Downward Spiral and Cotton Eye Joe wrote the Penguin's coupe de grace arena song "Cotton-Eye Joe."

1994 was also a time in which a rag-tag bunch of jabronis the Washington Capitals beat the perennial juggernaut that was the Pittsburgh Penguins in a playoff series 4 games to 2.

A team that employed Lemieux, Francis, Jagr, Tocchet, Murphy, Stevens, Straka, Mullen, Samuelsson, and Trottier couldn't solve the enigma that was Don Beaupre.

This oddity happened before Olli Maatta, Jake Guentzel and Matt Murray were even born!

Actual Puppy
In 1994 where puppies looked like this: 

The Washington Capitals blasted Barrasso with 17 goals leaving him with a .895 SV%. Juneau and Pivonka lead the way with 7 points in the series while the whole series amassed 273 PIM. 

When people were taping Seinfeld, Friends, and Home Improvement, to watch the last time the Washington Capitals defeat the Penguins in a playoff series.

When people were wondering "Who is this hilarious new kid Jim Carrey?" was when the Capital last beat the Penguins in a playoff series. 

It wasn't in 1995 (4-3)
                   1996 (4-2)
                   2000 (4-1)
                   2001 (4-2)
                   2009 (4-3)
                   2016 (4-2)

It was in 1994;  the last time the Washington Capitals beat the Pittsburgh Penguins in a playoff series.

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