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Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Sabres Fans Aspire to Join NHL Player Safety by @SpinMeWrite

According to a lot of keyboard warriors/linesman-wannabes tonight, this hit by Rasmus Ristolainen on Jake Guentzel early in the first period of the Pens/Sabres game in Buffalo wasn't deserving of the game misconduct Ristolainen received for it.

I don't care how many times you watch it, dissect it, over analyze it in slow motion and in real time, this hit shouldn't have happened. Whether the player be Ristolainen or Tom Sestito, these kind of hits are unnecessary and avoidable. Ristolainen had enough time to pull back once it was clear that Guentzel didn't have the puck.

Without getting into the old school hockey and fighting debate, from a strategic standpoint Ristolainen left the Sabres without their top defensemen for most of the game.

I know. We all know what that's about. Fortunately, we can handle it. The Sabres have nothing else in the cupboard.

The Sabres staff must've lost their copy of the rulebook because they're confused about the rules for hockeyball.

But good news! The NHL Department of Player Safety has many willing new applicants who don't see anything wrong with the hit. They think Ristolainen's punishment was harsh and it was a "clean hit." Many think it should've been a minor, if that. To help Player Safety weed through the applications, I've compiled some of the top applicants here:

Some of these fine folks have a very developed sense of what's right and what's wrong. Stick tapping a guy in the nuggets is way worse than a possible head injury. (Psst. They're both wrong. But O'Reilly didn't leave the game stumbling and bleeding on the ice.)

To recap: In Buffalo, it ain't no thing to drill someone in the head. Sidney Crosby is a devil who indiscriminately pitchforks guys in the beanbag and deserves to be on the receiving end of Risto the battering ram, and their professional hockey team doesn't know how to hockey.

That's fine. We're going to the playoffs and they'll be drawing horns on pictures of Crosby in their parents' basements.

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