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Wednesday, October 8, 2014

'Twas the Night Before Hockey by @kjcmalakai

Photo from Pittsburgh Penguins Twitter @penguins

'Twas the night before hockey, when all through Consol
Not a Penguin was skating, not Geno nor Paul
The sweaters were hung by Dana Heinze with care
In hopes that Lord Stanley's Cup soon would be there

Dana Heinze and his wife Kathy (Phil Pritchard/HHOF)

The players were nestled all snug in their beds
Dreaming of raising the cup over their heads
Training camp is over, it exists for one reason
To prepare for a long regular season

Wouldn't mind seeing a new version of this picture

Gone are the days of names such as Rico Fata
Now there are promising young men like Olli Maatta
Downie to the ice will appear like a flash
To prevent our superstars from taking a slash


The lights shine down on the frozen clear ice
Waiting for players to skate on tomorrow night
When, what do the eyes of the crew members see
One final pass around the rink by the Zamboni

Deleted Scene from the movie "Sudden Death"

Coach Johnston's in his office, taser ready to go
Anyone dumps in the puck and its "Don't tase me bro"
One final pass at the lines for the game
He gets out his pen, scribbling, and writing them out by name

Many media outlets including ESPN were duped by this tweet

Now, Crosby! now, Kunitz! I'm horny for Hornqvist!
With Duper, and Geno, James Neal won't be missed
To the top of the Metro! to the top of the East!
Hearing shouts of Shoot the puck! Shoot the Puck! from the cheap seats

Looking forward to "Me So Horny" T-shirt giveaway night

Drawing up power plays with shots that make the puck fly
Song 2 will be played and the goalie will cry
At top of the circle the wingers he drew
With a bag full of tricks and Sidney Crosby too

Penciling in the lineup, he wrote with a hurry
All that was left was Marc-Andre Fleury
Exiting his office, he turned off the lights,
Heading down Fifth Avenue, to rest for the night

Haters Gonna Hate

The city is ready, the fans have been waiting,
The Pirates lost and the Steelers are fading;
Now the boys of winter can pick up the slack,
Since June 13th we've been waiting for hockey to be back.

This was last moment of the 2013-2014 season 

Questions -- yes, still remain. NHL head coaching?
Mike Johnston was named with the season approaching
Gone are the days of Bylsma and Ray Shero
Bring back the cup and Johnston will be a hero

Another discussion to add to the mix
Has the depth improved for the bottom six?
Gone are names like Tanner Glass and Vitale,
Replaced here by Nick Spaling and Steve Downie.

Downie adds toughness and the proven ability to play with superstars

Orpik and Niskanen moved down to Washington
Now they are Crapitals, what about Paul Martin?
Will he be traded? We'll have to wait and see,
If only they could move on from Rob Scuderi

Brooks Orpik may have moved on, but his wardrobe hasn't 

Not much more to say, the long wait is over,
The changes have been made, the roster turned over,
82 games plus the playoffs and then we will see
If the moves that were made bring home Lord Stanley

Can you believe this happened more than 5 years ago?

So be ready to hear scratch my back with a hacksaw
Into the fast lane, the bingo game started, grandma.
Mike Lange yells, "Shave my face with a rusty razor!"
It's a Hockey Night in Pittsburgh! (And 1975 forever)


  1. 'Horny' is inapproate and should be changed. Along with the taser stuff. No place for either

  2. ^^ AWWW.. Poor "Billy" , someone said a word in their blog that offended him...

    There's no place for your overly sensitive/whiny comments either......

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