Those of you who followed us last year might remember our "FAMOUS MOVIE MONSTERS STARRING THE PENS!" post. If not, take a look here.
This year, we decided not to limit our ideas to classic "creature features" and explore some horror movies that were filmed since color has been added to "picture boxes".
Take a Halloween stroll with us as we re-imagine some of horror's best villains as Pittsburgh Penguins.
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At first, you may not think Sidney Crosby could have anything in common w Freddy Kruger, the serial killer who stalks and kills his victims in their dreams. Think Sidney Crosby the serial scorer and think 2010. Crosby notched 2 hat tricks just days apart. The first came 11/27 against Kiprusoff and the Calgary Flames and again just five days later, a natural hat trick against Pavelec and the Atlanta Thrashers. No doubt, he has haunted many goalie's dreams.
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Jason Voorhees was the mass murder from Camp Crystal Lake
who made the old Jacques Plante style goalie mask popular in a very creepy way.
He was the machete wielding antagonist that everyone loved to hate.
Creepiness aside, Marc Andre Fleury personifies the Friday
the 13th character. Replace the machete with a blocker stick, add
that modern day mask and you come up with an antagonist who roams his own
personal Crystal Lake menacing all who trespass.
Dawn of the Dead is a classic George Romero's horror flick. It
takes a look at the zombie plague's apocalyptic effects on society. In the
film, a plague of unknown origin has caused the reanimation of the dead, who
prey on human flesh. Mass hysteria ensues.
It’s easy to draw a parallel
to Steve Downie. He has reanimated the third line with his toughness. He’s a skilled
player who has no problem causing mass hysteria to opposing teams who would
like to feast on the flesh of Penguin stars.
Paul Martin as Chuckie, the serial killer obsessed with
voodoo who transfers his soul into a Good Guy doll, is a tougher premise to
sell. On one hand Martin is, by all accounts, one of the nicest guys you’d ever
meet. On the other hand, he is a menacing presence on the defense. His smart, mild
mannered persona is the perfect cover for his inner “Chuckie”.
The Blair Witch Project was a sensation when it burst onto
the horror movie scene much like Beau Bennett was a California hockey sensation. The film brought a documentary style as a way
of telling the story of three film makers who disappeared in the woods and were mysteriously never heard
from again. Who among us hasn’t wondered if Bennett hasn’t disappeared into
injury hell; his true potential forever a mystery?
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre! The story of hitchhiker turned
slasher, Leatherface who worked at the old slaughterhouse. He welds his chain
saw to butcher his victims and make furniture from their bones. The character of
Leatherface is at times terrifying and at times child-like.
The same can be said
of Evgeni Malkin. Off the ice, Geno is a charming young man struggling to
express himself in English. On the ice, he can be a terrifying hulking presence
who lets his stick do the talking. He may not weld a chain saw but he has the
ability to butcher goalies with his razor sharp shot.
The Hellraiser franchise spawned the character Pinhead. He’s
the sadomasochistic leader of the futuristic Cenobites who can no longer differentiate between extreme
pain and extreme pleasure.
It’s fitting that Kris Letang be re-imagined as Pinhead. His
career has known the extremes of pain and pleasure. The pain of dealing with his stroke last
season and the fear of it ending his playing career. Pens fans prefer the pleasure of his
blistering skating speed and Norris trophy consideration-worthy defensive play.
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